DJ sets by: Christine from stonecoldbikini of 91.1 fm;  WRUW Cleveland, Case Western Reserve University; Lawrence Daniel Caswell from “No Ways Tired” of 89.3fm WCSB Cleveland, Cleveland State University

CLEVELAND MUSEUM of ART
Date: A murder mystery for only the sharpest of crime-solving duos!
Pick Me Up: Friday, Sept 25 from 6-9pm
My Place or Yours: Call 216-421-7350 or 1-888-Cma-0033
My Wallet’s Gone!: $8 gets you in with a student ID
Blind Date: CMA has one of the best collections in the world, yet comprehensive enough to see in one breathtaking visit.
Blind Date: Barking Spider is not to be missed. Truly, this tavern is a hidden Cleveland gem.
Want to Ride Bikes?: While I was excited for a moment when I read under directions, “arriving by bicycle,” there were no actual two-wheeled cycle routes given. Alas, if you know the area, University Circle is one of the bike-friendliest parts of the city.
Cleveland Friendly: Learn more about local artist Viktor Schrekengost, and see his New Yorker bowl in the gallery.
No Thanks, I’m Washing My Hair: I can’t think of a better way to make new friends this school year than a visit to support local arts.

Meanwhile, male-whom-I was dating was equally as devastated for me — and surprised me with a trip to the APL to adopt a new kitty. Which I did — the one and only, Mr. Nibbles. The cat, not the guy.

Hilariously, the guy could not front the money for the adoption, so I ended up paying for Mr. Nibs from my own wallet.

Be it your beau’s wallet or your own checking account, bring your significant other to the Cleveland APL this Saturday to adopt the newest feline member of your family.

This city typically goes to the Dawgs (roof, roof!), but kitties need lovin’ too! Pets (unlike real family or broke boyfriends) will truly love you unconditionally.

Cleveland APL
Date: Adopt-a-kitty for your sweetheart!
Pick Me Up: Saturday, Sept 19 – 10am to 5pm
My Place or Yours: 1729 Willey Avenue; Cleveland 44113; (216) 771-4616
My Wallet’s Gone!: All cats are $5; kittens under 5 months, $20
Blind Date: The Cleveland APL is a non-profit humane society in Tremont area, focused on compassion for animal fostering and the end of animal suffering.
Double Date: While Fat Cats is not necessarily a bar for animals, revel in your own puppy love over brunch from 11am-4pm on Saturdays.  Or sneak Mr. Whiskers out to the patio.
Want to Ride Bikes?: Hope you screwed that flower basket on tight!
Cleveland Friendly: While at the APL, donate or purchase tickets for the 2009 Fur Ball, benefiting rescued animals needing a second chance.
No Thanks, I’m Washing My Hair: Nobody will love you more than Fluffy! Animals have a tremendous “happiness effect” on those who are feeling particularly lonely. And with pets, a single person can easily adopt!

Friday, Sept 11:
Tremont Art Walk from 6pm – 10pm – While admission is free (as it typically is walking around the gorgeous streets of Cleveland), be sure to support one of the many local bars, eateries, bookstores or galleries from our area. Or bakeries. Trust me, touristy date activities prevent any unwanted calories! And it’s cute to serve one plate with two spoons.

Or…

If you think $25 is Cheap Date Cleveland-appropriate, kick off an amazing Cleveland-lovin weekend with The Playhouse Square Block Party & Tour from 5:30-9:30pm. Oooh, wonder if I can get backstage?!

Saturday, Sept 12:
Cleveland Museum of Art Chalk Festival (Catch up with Cheap Date Cleveland, if you missed the announcement).

Lakewood Community Festival from 11am-5pm – Entertainment, arts & crafts, music… FOOD! And, duh, all the FREE! you can handle at Madison Park.

Before you embark on one of the coolest ways to fall in love with all-hoods-Cleveland, head over to the Old Stone Church to gawk at select resident-submitted photos as part of Downtown Cleveland Alliance’s Downtown Photo Challenge – noon-7pm! DCA loves FREE! *swoon*

And the main event: Sparx City Hop from noon-midnight – Jump on one of the FREE! trolleys and explore a neighborhood you have yet to discover. Get off the Lolly and fall in love with a new local artist in the Art Quarters on Superior. Forgot to eat lunch? Get thee to Flying Fig for a $10 burger-and-beer special (until 4:30 pm). Rinse. Repeat. Jump on a Trolley. Get off. Check out a neighborhood. Fortune Cookie say: AsiaTown. Jump on a Trolley. Get off. Check out another neighborhood. We’re going streaking! Through the Quandrangle! OK, not really, but we will see Bridget Ginley and recharge with a cafe mocha at Artefino Cafe at one of my FAVORITE Cleveland mixed-used buildings: The Tower Press. What I wouldn’t GIVE to live in that tower! Car Trolley sick? See next clue…

Cleveland Plain Dealer’s insert and schedule. {pdf}

Yes, this has been a long day of talking for us too! Find a little quiet time from 8-10:30pm, relax those barking dogs with a FREE! showing of “The Dark Knight” in the middle of West Sixth. Pull out your blankets and patio chairs, but be sure to exit before the Tailgaters show up… well, around 5am. Do they charge $25 a vehicle for those spaces?

If you somehow managed to make it through with a bit of navigator left in you, bring on Sunday, Sept 13:
Tremont Arts and Cultural Festival from 12-5pm at Lincoln Park – more music, more activities, more (*gulp*) food… it’s OK, walk it off! I never loved anything more FREE!

Well, other than living on East 4th and people watching out my corner window.

I’m always looking for an excuse to doodle — to be more creatively I Madonnari than Madonna. There is a cost for both, apparently — $8-16 for Madonnari. Or more than a handful of thousands for plastic surgery to replicate the latter. Ahem, or a really good painter.

Temporary art installations are somehow some of the most memorable. Which in regards to your date, we hope is less temporary and more memorable. Make a sketchy memory this Saturday at the CMA’s Chalk Festival (and not a pigment of your imagination).

Cleveland Museum of Art’s Chalk Festival
Date: Creating art. Together.
Pick Me Up: Saturday, Sept 12 (11am–5pm) & Sunday, Sept 13 (noon-5pm)
My Place or Yours: Wade Oval outside of the Cleveland Art Museum
My Wallet’s Gone!: FREE! to wander and watch; $8-16 to color and create
Blind Date: No need to pre-register, unless this is a polyamorous and/or group affair. Or triad. We don’t judge. But I think three fit in a square, right? Where’s my math teacher…
Double Date: Stick around for music! Saturday, listen to DBC: Delicate Balance Collective; Sunday, swing with crowd favorites The Blues de Ville Band.
Want to Ride Bikes?: Skip the bikes, and take the RTA Healthline. Or take your bike to the Healthline, and carry on…
Cleveland Friendly: This year’s festival will showcase the museum’s newly opened East Wing (of the CMA), as the featured artists look to the collections for their “street chalking.”
No Thanks, I’m Washing My Hair: Don’t like to share yer crayons… err, chalk, eh? We’ve got a sidewalk square for you too. Still $8.

How about hiking to explore an entirely different kind of rich environment?

Through Sunday, Sept 6, Take a Hike (as it were) for FREE! on an hour-long guided walking tours, experiencing Cleveland’s rich history.

The Historic Gateway Neighborhood tour every Thursday, unfortunately, has ended.

Take a Hike is generously funded by Cuyahoga County residents through Cuyahoga Arts and Culture. Additional funding is provided by Downtown Cleveland Alliance and Ohio & Erie Canalway Association. Program partners include Historic Warehouse District, Ohio Canal Corridor, Positively Cleveland and 89.7 WKSU.

Ohio Canal – Take a Hike!
Date: Walking tour of Cleveland neighborhoods
Pick Me Up:Sat, Sept 5 or Sun, Sept 6 – both tours start at 10am
My Place or Yours: Warehouse District Tour meets at Constantino’s Market (1278 West 9th Street); Canal to Harbor Tour meets at Settler’s Landing RTA Station (1025 Superior Avenue)
Blind Date: Bring your walking shoes and your tourist camera!
Double Date: After all that guided walking, why not rent a pair of bikes from City Bikes, and make-your-own riding tour.
Want to Ride Bikes?: Please say yes, please say yes…
Cleveland Friendly: Meet John D. Rockefeller, Garrett Morgan, Mrs. Alfred Kelley, Mayor Tom Johnson… or the actors who portray them (I don’t believe it’s time for a Haunted Cleveland Tour…yet).
No Thanks, I’m Washing My Hair: You can never have too much Cleveland history! And now, you have a bit of small talk to impress your next date.

The self-guided walking tour features a chilly, historical look underneath the city, highlighted by a 3,112-feet, white-knuckled walk over planks atop the Cuyahoga River and resulting in some of the most breath-taking sights of the skyline. This is an opportunity to see Cleveland by an entirely new tourist POV.

And our favorite word: FREE!

Just stand still for one moment, and wait for a bus to drive overhead. Talk about a chill.

Cuyahoga County Engineer’s Subway Tour
Date: Be a Cleveland Tourist!
Pick Me Up: Saturday, Sept 5 from 9am – 3pm
My Place or Yours: Northeast Corner of W. 25th Street & Detroit Avenue, at the west end of the bridge
Blind Date: Tour includes films, trolley displays, and old streetcar — complete with vintage Cleveland subway street signs and a unique view of the city… from below the Veteran’s Memorial Bridge.
Double Date: How about some breakfast crepes at the West Side Market before holding her (or his) scared hand. Trust me, once you’re under the bridge, some 190 feet above the Cuyahoga, you’ll understand about what I’m talking.
Want to Ride Bikes?: Of course! Meet up at the market (you know, for that breakfast) at 8am. It’s an easy bike ride straight down West 25th to the tour entrance.
Cleveland Friendly: Four trolleys operated here from 1917 through 1954.
No Thanks, I’m Washing My Hair: Tourists don’t always travel as a pack. Bring a camera, and get back together with your first love: Cleveland.

Relax in the microbrew tent — NEW to festival-goers this year — or dance with pretty beer wenches for only $8 admission and FREE! parking. You like accordions? Plenty to find here. Sauerkraut. Stinky, and you’ll smell a lot of it from Schmidt’s.

Me? You’ll find me in Der Braumeister’s line, waiting for my Kummelweck .

Proceeds from Labor Day Oktoberfest help benefit area non-profits as well as various youth groups and German cultural organizations.

Cleveland Labor Day Oktoberfest
Date: Mmmm… bier!
Pick Me Up: Sept. 4-7 (Fri: 5-to-mid; Sat/Sun: Noon-to-mid; Mon: Noon-to-9)
My Place or Yours: Cuyahoga County Fairgrounds in Berea
Blind Date: There’s an eHow for that.
Double Date: While imbibing and Dirndls-ing, check out Art Market, featuring over 30 local Cleveland artists.
Want to Ride Bikes?: While parking is FREE!, Berea — home to Baldwin Wallace College and a portion of the Rocky River Reservation — is an extremely bike-friendly city. But please remember, you can still be issued an CUI (“Cycling Under the Influence”). Bike responsibly after your Oktoberfest.
Cleveland Friendly:

{Hank} Haller started playing on a regular basis for his friend Steve Bencic, at the Sachsenheim Club, in 1958. A few years later, Bencic opened the “Hofbrau Haus” restaurant in Cleveland, and named Haller the house band. When Bencic first introduced “Oktoberfest” to United States audiences, Haller was three. In the intervening years, the numerous Oktoberfest celebrations held each fall created a showcase for Haller and his band, who play over 110 dates per year.

No Thanks, I’m Washing My Hair: Beer makes the heart grow fonder.

MOJO Big Band is a professional 17-piece band that performs music from the great jazz orchestras of the past including Duke Ellington, Count Basie, Buddy Rich and many more.

Also, between 7-9pm, house martinis (in the wine bar) are only $5. It’s $5 Manic Monday mania! I know Mondays in my dictionary are spelled M-A-R-T-I-N-I.

Brother’s Lounge
Date: A swingin date sippin’ specially-priced martinis over live big band music. Be sure to wear your toe-tappers!
Pick Me Up: Every Monday at 8pm
My Place or Yours: 11609 Detroit Rd; Cleveland 44102; (216) 226-2767
Blind Date: A beautifully-restored neighborhood Pub, Wine Bar and Music Hall all in one location
Double Date: Closing time? Feeling tipsy? Walk across the street to My Friends (open happily for 24 hours a day) for an omelet the size of your head. Or pie. You like pie.
Want to Ride Bikes?: Not recommended during excess martini consumption
Cleveland Friendly: Click here for Brother’s Lounge circa 1963
No Thanks, I’m Washing My Hair: Single? Brother’s hosts a Ladies Night every Thursday. Just sayin’.

Le Petit Triangle Cafe is sooo added to my list!

*Cheap Date Cleveland holds no liability to the projection of your dating market forecast. Budget friendly or otherwise. Cheers!

I have a week to find skates! Wait. Are those roller blades still in my trunk? Man, I haven’t been at a rink since that creepy skating dinosaur at United Skates of America on the east side somewhere far out of distant memory. Did anyone else have birthday parties there? OMG, I had one every year. And once, my first boyfriend bought me a My Little Pony. Man, totally 80s…

Electric Roller Disco Tech
Date: It totally reminds me of a Junior High Skate Party!
Pick Me Up: August 28th, 2009 7-10pm
My Place or Yours: Leff Electric building, 1163 East 40th St., Cleveland, 44114
Blind Date: It’s a temporary event party — only ONE chance to experience! Which is what makes these kind of parties so cool and so fun. And while skate rental is unavailable, bringing yourself WITHOUT wheels is also strongly recommended.
Double Date: Skating, Dancing, Lounge, Pop Bar, Art, Movie AND a sunset. Dude, you’re SET!
Want to Ride Bikes?: Not unless you still carry your blades in a *gasp* skate bag.
Cleveland Friendly: Exhibit A. Taken from the lounge at the event.
No Thanks, I’m Washing My Hair: Do you remember skate nights as a kid? Grease up those wheels, and “accidentally” bump into a hottie in the rink.